House Season1 E03 -- Line

1
00:00:01,301 --> 00:00:03,963
[Chattering]
[Bell Tolling]
2
00:00:04,037 --> 00:00:06,972
[Man]
I didn't sleep well last night,
and I woke up with a scratchy throat.
3
00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:11,807
- I just don't feel so good. Uh, cough.
- ~ [Rock, Faint]
4
00:00:11,878 --> 00:00:17,544
[Clears Throat] Yeah, um-um,
I have a bit of an upset stomach too,
and I think I'm running a fever.
5
00:00:17,617 --> 00:00:22,611
I'm just worried
I might be contagious. [Coughs]
6
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:27,524
Inventory. Tomorrow.
I'm-Yeah, I'm sure
I'll be feeling better by then.
7
00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:30,860
Thanks, Mr. Innabe.
8
00:00:32,632 --> 00:00:36,625
[Exhales, Chuckles]
I cannot believe you just did that.
9
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:39,536
L-I really do have a cough.
10
00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:41,938
Oh. So you weren't lying.
11
00:00:42,008 --> 00:00:46,672
You'd be curled up in bed
with a bowl of chicken soup-
[Moans, Kisses]
12
00:00:46,746 --> 00:00:48,907
Even if you didn't have
a horny girl in your bed?
13
00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:52,975
Yes. [Laughs]
Because I really do- Hey.
14
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:57,717
I really do have a cough.
You also have a little rash.
15
00:00:57,791 --> 00:01:03,457
[Laughs]
Um, I'm not sure
we should be kissing.
16
00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:07,694
Oh. [Kisses] It's okay.
Because I have almost
no interest in kissing you.
17
00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:10,258
Perfect.
[Laughs]
Good.
18
00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:15,464
Uh-uh-uh.
[Exhales, Laughs]
19
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:20,812
Oh, baby.
[Exhales]
20
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:22,814
[Both Moaning]
21
00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:30,918
[Moaning Continues]
22
00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:40,693
[Panting]
23
00:01:46,072 --> 00:01:50,338
[Breathing Erratically]
24
00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:55,848
[Giggles]
Oh, Brandon.
25
00:01:55,915 --> 00:01:59,908
[Chuckles]
Brandon.
26
00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:04,450
[Laughs]
I know I'm good,
but come on.
27
00:02:06,926 --> 00:02:09,053
Brandon?
28
00:02:10,930 --> 00:02:14,024
Brandon. Brandon. Brandon.
29
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:17,263
Brandon.! Brandon.!
30
00:02:50,303 --> 00:02:55,297
[Woman On P.A.]
Any additional R.N. To Surgical.
Any additional R.N. To Surgical.
31
00:02:58,711 --> 00:03:02,875
[Labored Breathing]
32
00:03:06,819 --> 00:03:10,050
[Groans, Shudders]
33
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:12,216
[House]
Why do you want me to treat this guy?
34
00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:14,283
Blood pressure's not responding
to I.V. Fluids.
35
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,954
No, no. I didn't ask how you plan to
con me into treating him.
36
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,692
I asked you why
you want me to treat him.
37
00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:22,428
He's sick. I care.
I'm pathetic.
38
00:03:22,502 --> 00:03:25,164
There are about a billion sick people
on the planet. Why this one?
39
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:29,231
Because this one's
in our emergency room.
Ah, so it's a proximity issue.
40
00:03:29,309 --> 00:03:32,301
If somebody was sick in
the third-floor stairwell,
that's who'd we be talking about.
41
00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:35,541
Yes. I checked the stairwell.
It's clear.
42
00:03:35,615 --> 00:03:38,106
Okay, then.
Emergency room guy it is.
[Elevator Bell Dings]
43
00:03:38,184 --> 00:03:41,847
Wait. Why was that so easy?
You know why.
44
00:03:43,122 --> 00:03:46,523
- Blood pressure's not responding to
I.V. Fluids?
- Yeah.
45
00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:50,758
That's just weird.
46
00:03:52,498 --> 00:03:55,626
C.B.C. Was unremarkable.
Abdominal C.T. Scan didn't show anything.
47
00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:58,364
So, people, differential diagnosis.
What's wrong with her?
48
00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:00,372
- Him.
- Him. Her. Does it matter?
49
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:04,604
Does anyone think
it's a testicular problem? No. So, Chase?
50
00:04:04,677 --> 00:04:07,669
- Yersinia infection?
- No. You wouldn't get the rash or cough.
51
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:11,080
What about arthritis?
Accompanying vasculitis
causes nerve damage-
52
00:04:11,150 --> 00:04:14,950
- No. It wouldn't cause
the blood pressure problems. Allergy?
- The kid's got abdominal pain.
53
00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:17,285
Maybe carcinoid?
No. But then you wouldn't get the-
54
00:04:17,357 --> 00:04:21,953
Foreman, if you're going to list
all the things it's not,
it might be quicker to do it alphabetically.
55
00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:27,159
Let's see, now. "Absidia." Excellent.
Doesn't account for any of the symptoms.
56
00:04:27,233 --> 00:04:30,066
- No condition accounts for
all these symptoms.
- Oh, good.
57
00:04:30,136 --> 00:04:33,196
Because I thought maybe he was sick.
But, apparently, he's not.
58
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,833
Who wants to do up
the discharge papers?
[Sighs]
59
00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:40,810
[Sighs] Okay. Unless we control
the blood pressure,
60
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:44,043
he's gonna start circling the drain
before we can figure out
what's wrong with him.
61
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:48,645
Treat him for sepsis, broad-spectrum
antibiotics, and I want a Cort-stim test
and an echocardiogram.
62
00:04:48,721 --> 00:04:51,554
[Heartbeat]
[Coughing]
63
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:58,461
You all right?
[Coughs]
Yeah.
64
00:04:58,531 --> 00:05:02,695
The Cort-stim test will tell us
if your pituitary and adrenal glands
are working properly.
65
00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:05,932
- His glands? What does that mean?
- We have a few theories we're working on.
66
00:05:06,005 --> 00:05:08,667
- You mean you don't know.
- Mindy.
67
00:05:08,741 --> 00:05:11,505
I'm just saying, if they knew
they wouldn't be testing you,
they'd be treating you.
68
00:05:11,577 --> 00:05:16,537
Yeah, well, that's the way it works.
First we find out what it is,
then we get you better.
69
00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:28,351
You're half an hour late.
Busy caseload.
70
00:05:28,428 --> 00:05:30,794
One case is not a load.
71
00:05:30,863 --> 00:05:34,697
So how are we doing
on cotton swabs today? If there's
an acute shortage, I could run home-
72
00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:38,259
No, you couldn't.
Nice.
73
00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:46,643
Hello, sick people
and their loved ones.
74
00:05:46,713 --> 00:05:51,047
In the interest of saving time
and avoiding a lot ofboring
chitchat later, I'm Dr. Gregory House.
75
00:05:51,117 --> 00:05:55,383
You can call me Greg.
I'm one of three doctors
staffing this clinic this morning.
76
00:05:55,455 --> 00:05:59,585
Short. Sweet. Grab a file.
This ray of sunshine
is Dr. Lisa Cuddy.
77
00:05:59,659 --> 00:06:03,151
Dr. Cuddy runs this whole hospital,
so, unfortunately, she's much
too busy to deal with you.
78
00:06:03,229 --> 00:06:06,824
I am a board-certified diagnostician,
79
00:06:06,899 --> 00:06:09,493
with a double specialty of
infectious disease and nephrology.
80
00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:13,403
I'm also the only doctor
currently employed at this clinic who is
forced to be here against his will.
81
00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:15,964
That is true, isn't it? But not to worry.
82
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:19,739
Because for most of you, this job could be
done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin.
83
00:06:19,812 --> 00:06:23,908
Speaking of which,
if you're particularly annoying,
you may see me reach for this.
84
00:06:23,983 --> 00:06:27,646
This is Vicodin. It's mine.
You can't have any.
85
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:31,713
And, no, I do not have
a pain management problem.
I have a pain problem.
86
00:06:31,791 --> 00:06:36,091
But who knows? Maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe I'm too stoned to tell.
87
00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:38,494
So, who wants me?
88
00:06:42,301 --> 00:06:44,769
And who would rather wait
for one of the other two guys?
89
00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:51,000
Okay. Well, I'll be in Exam Room One
if you change your mind.
90
00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:56,146
Jodi Matthews?
91
00:06:56,215 --> 00:06:59,514
Please accompany Dr. House
to Exam Room One.
92
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:07,086
Dr. Chase.
93
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:10,652
I'm not sure scaring your boyfriend
is the best medicine for him right now.
94
00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:15,064
I know. I get stupid
when I'm scared.
Don't go rock climbing.
95
00:07:15,134 --> 00:07:18,467
Look, I was wondering.
Before this happened, we were having sex.
96
00:07:20,873 --> 00:07:24,866
[Sighs]
What? You're wondering if
whatever he has, you might've gotten it?
97
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:27,936
It-It's unlikely.
We ran a complete S.T.D. Panel, so-
98
00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:32,678
No. I'm wondering if maybe
I did this to him. I was kind of rough.
99
00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:43,359
It was yellow.
It was?
100
00:07:43,429 --> 00:07:46,557
It's not anymore.
Well, that's a shame.
101
00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:51,296
I thought that might be a problem,
so I brought you this.
102
00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:58,800
Your mucus was "pale goldenrod."
103
00:07:58,878 --> 00:08:02,575
Last week, yes.
Should I be worried?
Oh, yes. Very.
104
00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:06,084
Really?
I thought it was okay now.
105
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,643
And yet, here you are.
What happened?
106
00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:11,281
Paramedics took a week
to respond to your 911 call?
107
00:08:11,357 --> 00:08:14,258
You're not a very nice doctor,
are you?
108
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:17,057
And you are very bad at
whatever it is you do.
109
00:08:17,129 --> 00:08:20,428
You don't even know me.
I know you're gonna get fired.
110
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:24,596
That's why you got the new glasses.
That's why your teeth are sparkly white.
111
00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:28,162
You're getting the most of
your health insurance while you still can.
112
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:31,666
I might be quitting.
[Zipper Zips]
113
00:08:31,744 --> 00:08:36,238
If you were quitting, you'd have known
that last week when your snot was still
pale goldenrod. You're getting fired.
114
00:08:37,917 --> 00:08:40,579
I just don't like being told what to do.
115
00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:47,218
I can get you in
for a full body scan later this week.
116
00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:49,784
Thanks.
117
00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:55,298
It's got to be viral.
We should start running gels and titers.
118
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:59,464
Maybe we should look into
the girlfriend's theory.
She thinks she rode him to death.
119
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:02,906
[Chuckles]
What'd you tell her?
120
00:09:02,975 --> 00:09:05,443
I told her 22-year-old men
don't die of sex.
121
00:09:05,511 --> 00:09:07,604
- What'd you ask her?
- What do you mean?
122
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:10,672
I mean, I hope you got some specifics
on exactly what was going on.
123
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:14,584
If the girl thinks it could kill you,
it's worth knowing about.
124
00:09:18,090 --> 00:09:20,115
Have you ever taken a life?
125
00:09:29,702 --> 00:09:31,636
We should stop the antibiotics.
126
00:09:31,704 --> 00:09:33,638
It's too soon to say
they're not having an effect.
127
00:09:33,706 --> 00:09:35,799
They're having an effect.
128
00:09:37,343 --> 00:09:40,972
His B.P. 's falling fast.
There's fluid filling his lungs.
129
00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:43,311
His creatinine is rising.
130
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,313
His kidneys are shutting down.
131
00:09:52,825 --> 00:09:57,023
Our treatment isn't making him better.
It's killing him.
132
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:05,431
So, we had six symptoms that didn't
add up to anything. Now we got seven.
Who's excited?
133
00:10:05,504 --> 00:10:09,167
I don't think it complicates things.
The kidney failure was caused by
the antibiotics.
134
00:10:09,241 --> 00:10:13,905
- Maybe.
- Typically, low blood pressure
and abdominal pain means an infection.
135
00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:16,881
An abdominal infection causes sepsis,
low blood pressure.
136
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:19,884
Except we checked for
abdominal infections.
137
00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:23,945
But what if it's the other way around?
What if the low blood pressure's
causing the abdominal pain?
138
00:10:24,023 --> 00:10:28,517
Viral heart infection.
The intestines aren't getting
enough blood, and the result is belly pain.
139
00:10:28,594 --> 00:10:32,553
- I know it's not
the standard presentation.
- It's a 10 million-to-1 shot.
140
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:35,294
I thought that's what we dealt with here.
141
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:41,034
It explains the cardiomyopathy, the pain,
the low B.P., the fever.
142
00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:47,206
You read the book.
Impressive.
143
00:10:47,279 --> 00:10:52,774
It's a ludicrously long shot that
explains every one of those symptoms-
except for the cough and the rash.
144
00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:56,515
Should we just erase those?
Well, anything can cause a rash.
145
00:10:58,257 --> 00:11:01,624
Okay. Cardiac infection.
146
00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:06,064
- Cameron, you thought allergy.
- Mm-hmm.
147
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:10,529
Chase, what was it you thought?
Carcinoid?
148
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:13,367
Then there's hypothyroidism.
149
00:11:13,439 --> 00:11:17,239
Could be parasites.
150
00:11:20,146 --> 00:11:22,080
Finally, sinus infection.
151
00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:25,777
If you're gonna list
all the things it can't be,
you're gonna need more colors.
152
00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:30,185
Cameron was right.
No condition explains all these symptoms.
153
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:36,488
- But orange and green covers everything.
- Orange and green?
154
00:11:36,562 --> 00:11:39,588
Two conditions contracted simultaneously?
155
00:11:39,665 --> 00:11:42,930
Occam's Razor.
The simplest explanation
is always the best.
156
00:11:43,002 --> 00:11:45,971
- And you think one is simpler than two?
- Pretty sure it is, yeah.
157
00:11:47,973 --> 00:11:52,967
Baby shows up. Chase tells you that
two people exchanged fluids
to create this being.
158
00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:57,641
I tell you that one stork
dropped the little tyke off in a diaper.
Are you gonna go with the two or the one?
159
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,345
- I think your argument is specious.
- I think your tie is ugly.
160
00:12:00,419 --> 00:12:05,482
Why is one simpler than two?
It's lower, lonelier. Is it simpler?
161
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,652
Each one of these conditions
is about a thousand-to-one shot.
162
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:12,391
That means that any two of them
happening at the same time
is a million-to-one shot.
163
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:15,298
Chase says the cardiac infection
is a 10 million-to-1 shot,
164
00:12:15,367 --> 00:12:17,961
which makes my idea
10 times better than yours.
165
00:12:18,037 --> 00:12:20,835
Get a calculator. Run the numbers.
166
00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:22,430
We'll run the tests.
Tests take time.
167
00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:26,342
Treatment's quicker.
Start the kid on Unasyn
for the sinus infection,
168
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:31,042
and... what was orange?
[Cameron]
Hypothyroidism.
169
00:12:31,117 --> 00:12:35,281
My uncle has hypothyroidism.
Not like this.
170
00:12:35,354 --> 00:12:38,983
Intravenous Levothyroxin
is an artificial thyroid medication
that should take care of it.
171
00:12:39,058 --> 00:12:42,550
Also, the nurses are going to
start you on Unasyn.
It's a more targeted antibiotic.
172
00:12:42,628 --> 00:12:44,289
For the sinus infection?
Yes.
173
00:12:44,363 --> 00:12:48,026
- The other stuff is
for something else entirely.
- Bad luck, huh?
174
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:51,831
Don't worry. He should be
back to ditching work in no time.
175
00:12:51,904 --> 00:12:54,304
Brandon?
176
00:12:57,143 --> 00:13:01,477
Hey, Mom.
[Coughs]
177
00:13:01,547 --> 00:13:03,310
We're his parents.
How's he doing?
178
00:13:03,382 --> 00:13:05,873
Um, Brandon is-
179
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:10,581
Uh, Mom. Dad-[Clears Throat]
This is Mindy.
180
00:13:11,757 --> 00:13:16,888
I was gonna bring her home for Christmas.
Um, we're engaged.
181
00:13:26,272 --> 00:13:30,436
[Woman On P.A.]
Dr. Hall to the recovery room.
Dr. Hall-
182
00:13:30,509 --> 00:13:32,170
Did you tell the family House's theory?
183
00:13:32,244 --> 00:13:36,237
Two odd conditions striking
completely coincidentally
at the exact same time?
184
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:39,307
I didn't phrase it
quite that way.
They agree to treatment?
185
00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:42,718
Of course they did. We're doctors.
They believe whatever we tell them.
186
00:13:42,788 --> 00:13:45,450
So, is that our job?
House's puppets?
187
00:13:45,524 --> 00:13:48,357
He comes up with an insane idea,
we get to pretend it's not?
188
00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:51,590
His insane ideas are usually right.
We've been here long enough to-
189
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,825
We've been here long enough
to have Stockholm syndrome.
[Laughs]
190
00:13:53,899 --> 00:13:58,563
What, because we don't hate him?
He thinks outside the box.
Is that so evil?
191
00:13:58,637 --> 00:14:01,299
He has no idea where the box is.
192
00:14:01,373 --> 00:14:06,037
If you guys think he's right, go home.
Relax. Just wait for
the kid to get all better.
193
00:14:06,111 --> 00:14:08,944
I'm going to the lab
to test for viral infections.
194
00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:14,886
[Groans]
195
00:14:19,658 --> 00:14:22,456
Negative for Coxsackie "B" virus.
196
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:25,190
Seven down, about 5,000 to go.
197
00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:29,564
You really think we're gonna
come up with your mystery virus just by
running gels till we guess it right?
198
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:35,132
No. I think we're gonna do it
by standing around
watching other people work.
199
00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:38,973
I'm waiting for
the Epstein-Barr virus.
200
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,778
- She's weird, isn't she?
- Bad idea.
201
00:14:44,850 --> 00:14:48,183
- What?
- Bad idea. You work with her.
202
00:14:48,254 --> 00:14:50,188
What did I say?
203
00:14:50,256 --> 00:14:55,922
Is weird some new
ghetto euphemism for sexy,
like bad is good and phat is good?
204
00:14:55,995 --> 00:14:58,520
- Then what the hell does "good" mean?
- "Ghetto euphemism"?
205
00:14:58,597 --> 00:15:01,828
- [Scoffs]
- You don't think she's hot?
206
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,698
No.
207
00:15:03,769 --> 00:15:08,229
Wow. Then you're brilliant.
And I am using "brilliant" as a euphemism.
208
00:15:08,307 --> 00:15:11,640
Obviously, the girl is hot.
Y-You're not talking about her aesthetics.
209
00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:14,144
You're talking about
if I want to jump her. I don't.
210
00:15:14,213 --> 00:15:16,272
Brilliant.
211
00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:23,120
- [Machine Beeps]
- Your Epstein-Barr is ready.
212
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:31,093
What are you doing?
Level four.
213
00:15:31,163 --> 00:15:34,724
No, no. I mean-
I know what you meant.
We're waiting.
214
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:38,167
My throat hurts.
So you said.
215
00:15:38,237 --> 00:15:42,731
How long are we waiting?
Two minutes less than when
you asked me two minutes ago.
216
00:15:44,643 --> 00:15:50,479
- Hi.
- Hi. I'm Dr. Cuddy.
Nice to meet you.
217
00:15:50,549 --> 00:15:55,213
Dr. Cuddy, thanks for the consult.
His throat seems to have some condition.
218
00:15:58,090 --> 00:16:01,355
Say "Ah."
Ah. [Mumbles]
219
00:16:02,861 --> 00:16:04,488
He has a sore throat.
220
00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:09,495
Of course. Yes, why didn't l-
221
00:16:09,568 --> 00:16:13,504
I mean, because he said that
it hurt, and I should have deduced
that meant it was sore.
222
00:16:13,572 --> 00:16:16,063
I was in a board meeting.
Patients come first, right?
223
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:18,803
Wouldn't want to prescribe a lozenge
if there's any doubt about
its efficacy, huh?
224
00:16:18,877 --> 00:16:23,041
You once asked me
why I think I'm always right,
and I realized that you're right.
225
00:16:23,115 --> 00:16:26,243
At least, I think you're right.
I don't really know, now do I?
226
00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:31,820
- Hey. I'm here.
- Go home. Drink some hot tea.
227
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,857
[Exhales]
Excellent counsel.
228
00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:42,264
Negative on parvovirus B-19.
229
00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:45,497
I'm impressed.
Thank you.
I was born to run gels.
230
00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:48,699
I meant about Chase.
What about Chase?
231
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:52,435
Well, the man has no
physical interest in you.
232
00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:58,006
He has a completely professional
relationship with you, respects you
as a colleague and a doctor.
233
00:16:58,083 --> 00:17:02,076
And yet, he can't look at you
without thinking sex.
234
00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:04,088
Because I asked
what kind of sex could kill you?
235
00:17:04,156 --> 00:17:07,785
You now have total control
over your relationship with him.
236
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:12,194
So, a woman can't express
her interest in sex without it
being some professional power play?
237
00:17:12,264 --> 00:17:16,098
No. If you look the way you do
and you say what you said,
238
00:17:16,168 --> 00:17:19,069
you have to be aware of the effect
that it's going to have on men.
239
00:17:19,138 --> 00:17:22,471
- Men should grow up.
- Yeah, and dogs should stop
licking themselves.
240
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:24,133
It's not gonna happen.
What's going on?
241
00:17:25,611 --> 00:17:28,136
- Yeah, what are you doing here?
- Looking for you guys.
242
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:30,306
- Why didn't you page us?
- 'Cause I knew you'd be here.
243
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:32,475
Who told him?
No one.
244
00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:37,147
I assume you're trying to prove
my crazy, two-illness theory wrong,
so, obviously, you're gonna be in the lab.
245
00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:39,247
- You spin the urine?
- Not yet.
246
00:17:39,324 --> 00:17:41,849
Talk to me when you have.
247
00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:53,495
What'd you find out?
Kidney failure.
It's acute interstitial nephritis.
248
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:59,806
- I wonder if that's significant.
- It means the antibiotics
didn't cause the kidney failure.
249
00:17:59,878 --> 00:18:01,812
How'd you know?
250
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:05,338
If you guys hadn't been so busy
trying to prove me wrong,
you might've checked in on the poor kid.
251
00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:07,715
You visited a patient?
252
00:18:07,786 --> 00:18:11,847
I was sitting by his bed all morning, just
so he'd know someone was there for him.
253
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,721
I looked in on him.
He's much better.
254
00:18:13,792 --> 00:18:16,727
Ergo, the treatment's working.
Ergo, me right, you wrong.
255
00:18:16,795 --> 00:18:19,161
Hey, I'm glad for the kid.
256
00:18:22,801 --> 00:18:26,134
That smugness of yours
really is an attractive quality.
Thank you.
257
00:18:26,205 --> 00:18:30,539
It was either that
or get my hair highlighted.
Smugness is easier to maintain.
258
00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:33,601
I get that you're not
a big believer in the
"catching flies with honey" approach,
259
00:18:33,679 --> 00:18:37,171
but do you honestly think
you'll collect a jarful
by cleverly taunting them?
260
00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:40,082
Flies, no. Doctors, sure.
If I'd said to Foreman,
261
00:18:40,152 --> 00:18:43,679
"Nice try. Great guess,
but sorry, not this time,"
what do you think he'd be doing right now?
262
00:18:43,755 --> 00:18:48,089
I think he'd go home
not feeling like a piece of crap.
Exactly.
263
00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:51,823
You want him to
feel like a piece of crap?
No. I don't want him going home.
264
00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:58,664
Dr. Foreman.
[Coughs]
265
00:18:58,737 --> 00:19:02,070
Still have the cough.
I'm feeling a lot better though.
266
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:05,304
His fever is gone.
His rash is going away. [Chuckles]
267
00:19:05,377 --> 00:19:09,370
I see.
Is everything okay?
268
00:19:09,448 --> 00:19:13,282
Just ordering some tests.
Absolutely nothing to worry about.
269
00:19:26,465 --> 00:19:29,400
[Game Beeping]
270
00:19:29,468 --> 00:19:35,270
- How much longer?
- 9:30. I figure she was on
the eighth hole when I paged her.
271
00:19:39,444 --> 00:19:41,776
You probably got another half hour.
272
00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:52,590
I ran a T.S.H., T3 and T4.
The patient's negative for hypothyroidism.
I'm not talking about you.
273
00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:56,685
The fact that he's getting better would
indicate the unreliability of the tests.
274
00:19:56,762 --> 00:19:59,754
If I'm right and it's a viral infection,
one of two things always happen:
275
00:19:59,831 --> 00:20:03,323
The patient dies,
or the patient's immune system
fights off the invader.
276
00:20:03,402 --> 00:20:05,302
What's with her?
277
00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:09,363
Her leg hurts after running six miles.
Who knows? Could be anything.
278
00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:12,501
He's getting better.
That doesn't prove you're right.
That just proves he's getting better.
279
00:20:13,912 --> 00:20:17,473
It-It's not two illnesses.
It can't be two illnesses.
280
00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:20,416
I am so glad you work here.
281
00:20:20,485 --> 00:20:24,148
[Exhales] If I'm right,
the antibiotics you prescribed...
282
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:27,386
could box his kidneys and liver,
impeding his ability
to fight off the virus.
283
00:20:27,459 --> 00:20:32,624
- It could kill him.
- Well, that certainly would be a concern.
284
00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:34,427
Fifty bucks?
285
00:20:34,499 --> 00:20:37,195
Don't look away.
The space monkeys
will be all over you.
286
00:20:37,269 --> 00:20:39,863
- You wanna bet on the patient's health?
- You think that's bad luck?
287
00:20:39,938 --> 00:20:44,568
You think that God will smite him
because of our insensitivity?
288
00:20:44,643 --> 00:20:47,043
Well, if God does,
you make a quick 50.
289
00:20:47,112 --> 00:20:49,706
- [Scoffs]
- [Beeps]
290
00:20:49,781 --> 00:20:53,774
- Oh.
- Go check his white blood count.
291
00:20:53,852 --> 00:20:57,015
If he's fighting off a virus
like you think, it'll be way up.
292
00:21:02,861 --> 00:21:07,059
Hey. Cuddy said you needed a consult.
What's up? I'm busy.
293
00:21:15,907 --> 00:21:18,000
Oh!
294
00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:26,674
- I was just being glib.
- You haven't said anything.
295
00:21:26,752 --> 00:21:32,554
No. Before, when I was talking about
Brandon's girlfriend thinking sex
could kill you.
296
00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:34,922
I was just making a joke
because I was uncomfortable.
297
00:21:34,993 --> 00:21:37,860
Oh, I don't even
remember what you said.
I'm uncomfortable about sex.
298
00:21:39,731 --> 00:21:44,361
- Well, we don't have to talk about this.
- Sex could kill you.
299
00:21:44,436 --> 00:21:47,530
Do you know what
the human body goes through
when you have sex?
300
00:21:47,606 --> 00:21:50,097
Pupils dilate. Arteries constrict.
301
00:21:50,175 --> 00:21:53,201
Core temperature rises, heart races,
blood pressure skyrockets.
302
00:21:53,278 --> 00:21:56,577
Respiration becomes rapid and shallow.
303
00:21:56,648 --> 00:21:59,981
The brain fires bursts of
electrical impulses
from nowhere to nowhere.
304
00:22:00,052 --> 00:22:01,849
Secretions spit out of every gland,
305
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:06,084
and the muscles tense
and spasm like you're lifting
three times your body weight.
306
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:10,822
It's violent, it's ugly,
and it's messy.
307
00:22:10,896 --> 00:22:16,732
And if God hadn't made it
unbelievably fun, the human race
would've died out eons ago.
308
00:22:19,805 --> 00:22:22,296
Men are lucky
they can only have one orgasm.
309
00:22:22,374 --> 00:22:26,401
You know that women
can have an hour-long orgasm?
310
00:22:26,478 --> 00:22:28,469
Hey, Foreman. What's up?
311
00:22:28,547 --> 00:22:30,777
- Hey, Foreman.
- Hey.
312
00:22:31,783 --> 00:22:37,016
- White cell count isn't up, is it?
- No. We were both wrong.
313
00:22:37,089 --> 00:22:40,252
White cell count is down-
way down-and dropping.
314
00:22:40,325 --> 00:22:43,817
His immune system is shot.
We need to get him into a clean room.
315
00:22:49,835 --> 00:22:52,827
[Chase]
Can you walk, Brandon?
316
00:22:52,904 --> 00:22:54,895
Yeah. A little.
317
00:22:54,973 --> 00:22:59,433
Okay. 'Cause we'll need to
leave the chair outside. Thank you.
318
00:22:59,511 --> 00:23:02,139
Where's April? April?
319
00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:07,049
Can you take that chair, please?
Thank you.
Yes, Robert.
320
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:10,452
I'll need to take your, um-
your mask and your robe too.
321
00:23:17,329 --> 00:23:21,925
You might wanna block your ears
for this, it's quite loud.
322
00:23:25,370 --> 00:23:28,498
[Loud Hissing]
323
00:23:32,511 --> 00:23:34,672
Something's made him
immuno-compromised.
324
00:23:34,746 --> 00:23:39,240
His white blood cell count is down,
which means his body
can't fight off infections.
325
00:23:39,317 --> 00:23:43,651
If he gets sick, he'll die.
Sick? How sick?
326
00:23:43,722 --> 00:23:46,384
Lfhe gets a cold, he'll die.
327
00:23:54,199 --> 00:23:56,599
[Coughing]
328
00:23:56,668 --> 00:24:02,504
Okay. I'm gonna push the needle
into your hip bone
and take some of the marrow.
329
00:24:05,010 --> 00:24:06,944
That's not so bad.
330
00:24:07,012 --> 00:24:11,449
Uh-uh. That was just the anesthetic.
[Instrument Clatters On Table]
331
00:24:11,516 --> 00:24:16,180
The core biopsy needle,
it's a bit bigger.
332
00:24:16,254 --> 00:24:21,419
Hey, man. Take a deep breath.
This-This is gonna hurt... a lot.
333
00:24:24,262 --> 00:24:26,890
[Gasping]
334
00:24:26,965 --> 00:24:30,298
Your marrow makes the blood cells.
335
00:24:32,137 --> 00:24:34,503
We take a peek at it
under a microscope,
336
00:24:34,573 --> 00:24:38,566
and maybe we find a viral infection.
337
00:24:38,643 --> 00:24:40,668
Maybe we find some fibrosis.
338
00:24:40,745 --> 00:24:44,738
Something to explain why
your blood count is so low.
339
00:24:45,750 --> 00:24:47,684
There we go.
340
00:24:49,187 --> 00:24:51,417
One step closer to an answer.
341
00:24:51,490 --> 00:24:54,482
[Shaky Breath]
If you don't find one,
342
00:24:56,361 --> 00:24:58,921
I can't stay here forever.
343
00:25:00,732 --> 00:25:05,760
[Panting]
344
00:25:07,272 --> 00:25:10,298
- [House] The patient could've died.
- The one with the pulled muscle?
345
00:25:10,375 --> 00:25:15,210
Those symptoms are consistent
with a dozen other conditions.
346
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:18,181
- [Stammers]
I'm entitled to a consult.
- You are not getting out of clinic duty.
347
00:25:18,250 --> 00:25:22,880
Come on. You got a hundred other
idiot doctors in this building who go...
348
00:25:22,954 --> 00:25:26,651
all warm and fuzzy every time
they pull a toy car out of a nose-
you don't need me here.
349
00:25:26,725 --> 00:25:29,888
No, I don't. But working with people
actually makes you a better doctor.
350
00:25:29,961 --> 00:25:33,055
When did I sign up for that course?
When did I give you
the impression that I care?
351
00:25:34,399 --> 00:25:38,062
Working in this clinic obviously instills
a deep sense of compassion.
352
00:25:38,136 --> 00:25:42,630
I've got your home number, right?
In case anything comes up at 3:00
in the morning.
353
00:25:42,707 --> 00:25:45,335
It's not gonna work.
You know why?
354
00:25:45,410 --> 00:25:47,901
Because this is fun.
355
00:25:47,979 --> 00:25:51,881
You think of something to make
me miserable. I think of something
to make you miserable-
356
00:25:51,950 --> 00:25:56,614
It's a game, and I'm gonna win
because I got a head start.
You are already miserable.
357
00:26:00,592 --> 00:26:02,492
Uh-
Is this important?
358
00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:04,495
Uh, no.
Good.
359
00:26:06,498 --> 00:26:08,432
What's with you and her?
Don't.
360
00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:10,661
You have a thing for her?
The only people who can get to you-
361
00:26:10,735 --> 00:26:12,896
No. There is not a thin line
between love and hate.
362
00:26:12,971 --> 00:26:18,136
There is, in fact, a Great Wall of China,
with armed sentries posted every 20 feet
between love and hate.
363
00:26:18,209 --> 00:26:20,541
Thirty-six Vicodin.
Who's the patient?
364
00:26:20,612 --> 00:26:22,443
I am.
You can't-
365
00:26:22,514 --> 00:26:25,005
Dr. Wilson is
the prescribing physician.
Yeah.
366
00:26:25,083 --> 00:26:29,247
You will lie, cheat and steal
to get what you want, but you're
incapable of kissing a little ass?
367
00:26:29,321 --> 00:26:31,255
[Pills Rattle]
We all have our limitations.
368
00:26:31,323 --> 00:26:35,555
House?
Wrong bottle. Do me a favor.
369
00:26:35,627 --> 00:26:40,621
Take one of these,
wait five minutes for it to kick in,
then find Cuddy and kiss her ass.
370
00:26:42,300 --> 00:26:45,292
What was the kid's first symptom?
371
00:26:45,370 --> 00:26:48,862
You did the history.
Of his 800 symptoms,
which one hit him first?
372
00:26:48,940 --> 00:26:50,874
Uh, the cough.
373
00:27:48,433 --> 00:27:52,767
[Coughing]
374
00:28:04,449 --> 00:28:07,441
[Erratic Breathing]
375
00:28:17,629 --> 00:28:19,563
Gout.
376
00:28:25,403 --> 00:28:28,031
Um, are we talking about Brandon?
Gout?
377
00:28:28,106 --> 00:28:30,040
Uric acid crystals in the joints?
378
00:28:30,108 --> 00:28:35,978
The symptoms are pain,
swelling, redness, stiffness.
Not one of which do I see on that board.
379
00:28:36,047 --> 00:28:38,345
Because he doesn't have gout.
[Makes Popping Sound]
380
00:28:40,685 --> 00:28:43,017
Every day, cells die.
381
00:28:46,024 --> 00:28:49,482
We survive because the remaining cells
divide and replace the losses.
382
00:28:50,995 --> 00:28:56,661
The colchicine, a gout medicine,
blocks mitosis and stops cell division,
383
00:28:57,836 --> 00:29:01,237
which will result in
abdominal pain, rash,
384
00:29:01,306 --> 00:29:05,970
nausea, fever, kidney failure,
low blood pressure...
385
00:29:06,044 --> 00:29:08,069
and will also mess with the bone marrow.
386
00:29:08,146 --> 00:29:10,307
But he doesn't have gout.
Why would he have gout medication?
387
00:29:10,381 --> 00:29:13,839
Because you guys were right.
He didn't have two conditions
at the exact same time.
388
00:29:13,918 --> 00:29:17,376
First, he got a cough.
And because he's an idiot,
he went to a doctor.
389
00:29:17,455 --> 00:29:21,414
In order to justify charging $200,
that doctor felt
he should actually do something.
390
00:29:21,493 --> 00:29:24,155
Oops. He wrote a prescription.
391
00:29:24,229 --> 00:29:28,063
Seven thousand people die each year
from pharmacy screwups.
392
00:29:28,133 --> 00:29:30,067
Not nearly as many as die
from doctor screwups,
393
00:29:30,135 --> 00:29:32,763
but still, not something
they use in their promotional materials.
394
00:29:32,837 --> 00:29:36,329
The pharmacist gave him
gout medicine instead of cough medicine.
395
00:29:36,407 --> 00:29:38,568
And the only thing it wouldn't do,
396
00:29:38,643 --> 00:29:42,636
it would do absolutely nothing
to relieve his cough.
397
00:29:42,714 --> 00:29:44,739
Occam's Razor-
398
00:29:44,816 --> 00:29:48,616
the simplest explanation is
almost always that somebody screwed up.
399
00:29:48,686 --> 00:29:52,679
But once he checked into this hospital,
he was completely in our control.
400
00:29:52,757 --> 00:29:54,918
Our food, our pills, our everything.
401
00:29:54,993 --> 00:29:57,655
So even if you're right,
no more gout medication.
402
00:29:57,729 --> 00:30:00,721
He'd either continue to deteriorate,
or he would've gotten better.
403
00:30:00,799 --> 00:30:03,632
But he got better,
and then he got worse.
404
00:30:03,701 --> 00:30:06,169
It doesn't fit.
It doesn't make sense.
405
00:30:06,237 --> 00:30:09,229
Okay. Two people screwed up.
406
00:30:09,307 --> 00:30:11,832
Not as simple as one, but-
407
00:30:21,352 --> 00:30:24,014
He's resting. He's-
I'm Dr. House.
408
00:30:24,088 --> 00:30:28,081
I'm your son's physician.
Oh. You're the one
we haven't met yet.
409
00:30:28,159 --> 00:30:32,562
You're the one he hasn't met.
How can you treat someone
without meeting them?
410
00:30:32,630 --> 00:30:35,793
It's easy if you don't
give a crap about him.
411
00:30:35,867 --> 00:30:38,358
That's a good thing.
412
00:30:38,436 --> 00:30:42,839
If emotions made you act rationally, well,
they wouldn't be called emotions, right?
413
00:30:42,907 --> 00:30:46,741
That's why we have
this nice division of labor.
You hold his hand, I get him better.
414
00:30:46,811 --> 00:30:49,473
If I start tucking him in at night,
well, that's not fair to you guys.
415
00:30:49,547 --> 00:30:51,981
And if you start prescribing medicine,
well, that's not fair to me.
416
00:30:52,050 --> 00:30:55,781
So, what I wanna know is,
who stepped on my side of the net?
417
00:30:55,854 --> 00:31:00,723
Who cared enough
to get stupid enough
to give him his cough medicine?
418
00:31:00,792 --> 00:31:02,726
When we checked in, Dr. Foreman-
419
00:31:02,794 --> 00:31:06,787
Tuesday, he's getting better.
Wednesday, he's getting sick again.
420
00:31:06,865 --> 00:31:10,562
Somebody gave him
his cough medicine Wednesday.
421
00:31:14,472 --> 00:31:17,464
Come on. Nobody's gonna be mad.
422
00:31:17,542 --> 00:31:21,034
I just wanna know
who tried to kill the kid.
423
00:31:25,550 --> 00:31:29,509
- Dr. House, maybe we should-
- His throat was sore.
424
00:31:32,523 --> 00:31:35,856
Page Dr. Occam.
He's gonna wanna hear about this.
I'm sorry.
425
00:31:35,927 --> 00:31:40,091
He was coughing,
and I just wanted to help him-
Aren't you a dear.
426
00:31:40,164 --> 00:31:44,032
Where are the pills?
He took the last of'em before
he was switched into that room.
427
00:31:44,102 --> 00:31:45,763
They're all gone?
It was just cough medicine.
428
00:31:45,837 --> 00:31:48,465
No, it wasn't.
Where's the bottle?
429
00:31:56,814 --> 00:31:59,510
We need to know
exactly what you put in this bottle.
430
00:31:59,584 --> 00:32:01,518
We think it was colchicine,
a gout medication.
431
00:32:01,586 --> 00:32:04,578
If the prescription said cough medicine,
that's what I dispensed.
432
00:32:04,656 --> 00:32:06,817
The family is prepared
to waive liability, all right?
433
00:32:06,891 --> 00:32:11,055
We just need to know what it was,
what dosage it was-
It was cough medicine.
434
00:32:11,129 --> 00:32:13,620
Refill it.
435
00:32:15,566 --> 00:32:19,400
He's gonna be okay.
You don't know that.
436
00:32:21,306 --> 00:32:24,798
Does Brandon like
that quality in you?
437
00:32:24,876 --> 00:32:27,037
You're a little negative.
438
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:33,249
Things don't always
work out for the best.
Doesn't hurt to hope they do.
439
00:32:33,318 --> 00:32:38,153
No. Not unless that makes you figure
you can do whatever you want,
like give people cough medicine.
440
00:32:39,590 --> 00:32:44,050
This is cough medication.
This is what Brandon
was supposed to get.
441
00:32:44,128 --> 00:32:46,824
They're small, round and yellow.
442
00:32:46,898 --> 00:32:51,232
Can you tell this man what
the pills in your son's medicine bottle
actually looked like?
443
00:32:53,571 --> 00:32:56,165
They were small, round and yellow,
exactly like this.
444
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:58,401
Those were the pills
that Brandon was taking.
445
00:32:58,476 --> 00:33:03,573
Hey, I'm just a pharmacist,
but I know what
cough medicine looks like, Doctor.
446
00:33:07,752 --> 00:33:11,085
[House]
It was so perfect.
It was beautiful.
447
00:33:11,155 --> 00:33:14,318
Beauty often seduces us
on the road to truth.
448
00:33:15,994 --> 00:33:18,827
And triteness kicks us in the nads.
449
00:33:18,896 --> 00:33:22,059
So true.
This doesn't bother you?
450
00:33:22,133 --> 00:33:25,466
That you were wrong?
I try to work through the pain.
451
00:33:25,536 --> 00:33:30,530
I was not wrong.
Everything I said was true.
It fit. It was elegant.
452
00:33:30,608 --> 00:33:36,274
- So, reality was wrong?
- [Sighs] Reality's almost always wrong.
453
00:33:42,286 --> 00:33:45,449
The cough medicine did something.
454
00:33:45,523 --> 00:33:48,219
[Exhales]
Aggravated the condition.
455
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:51,351
It's all over the place.
Must be in his blood.
456
00:33:51,429 --> 00:33:54,159
- What if it is his blood?
- Lymphoma?
457
00:33:54,232 --> 00:33:56,564
Unless you've got something better.
458
00:33:56,634 --> 00:34:00,126
We foolishly ruled out lymphoma because
his C.T. Scan showed no adenopathy,
459
00:34:00,204 --> 00:34:04,903
C.B.C. Showed a normal differen-smear,
bone marrow showed no-
Screw the tests.
460
00:34:04,976 --> 00:34:07,877
Do an exploratory laparotomy
and find out what's in there.
461
00:34:07,945 --> 00:34:12,644
He has no blood pressure,
no immune system and no kidneys.
Surgery will kill him.
462
00:34:12,717 --> 00:34:16,744
Yeah, you're right.
Let's stick with the wrong pill theory.
463
00:34:20,758 --> 00:34:24,091
I'll schedule him for surgery.
464
00:34:28,099 --> 00:34:31,262
[Foreman]
Okay, Brandon, we're running this tube
through your heart...
465
00:34:31,335 --> 00:34:34,429
and into the pulmonary arteries
in your lungs.
466
00:34:34,505 --> 00:34:37,941
[Cameron] The sensors will give us
information we need for the exploratory
surgery later this afternoon.
467
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:45,313
- My fingers are numb.
- Try not to move.
468
00:34:45,383 --> 00:34:50,650
We're in the right atrium,
trying to catch the flow
through the tricuspid valve.
469
00:34:50,721 --> 00:34:53,417
[Chase]
I think the catheter's curling
in the atrium.
470
00:34:53,491 --> 00:34:57,951
Got it. We're in the R.V. Now.
471
00:34:58,029 --> 00:35:00,657
[Beeps]
Ectopy.
472
00:35:00,731 --> 00:35:04,132
- You must've irritated the heart wall.
- It'll calm down.
473
00:35:04,202 --> 00:35:07,035
- He can't tolerate any cardiac arrhythmia.
Pull back.
- He needs the surgery.
474
00:35:11,509 --> 00:35:15,343
[Monitor Beeping Rapidly]
475
00:35:17,748 --> 00:35:22,242
- [High-pitched Tone]
- Pressure's dropped.
476
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:24,880
- You still with us, Brandon?
- Get the curtains.
477
00:35:24,956 --> 00:35:27,550
V.F.
478
00:35:29,393 --> 00:35:32,556
[Sustained Beep]
479
00:35:32,630 --> 00:35:35,861
[Crying]
480
00:35:35,933 --> 00:35:40,233
[Chase]
Charging. Clear.
481
00:35:43,074 --> 00:35:46,737
- [Rhythmic Beeping]
- [Exhales] Sinus rhythm.
482
00:35:48,279 --> 00:35:50,474
I got a pulse.
483
00:35:50,548 --> 00:35:52,846
[Sighs]
484
00:35:52,917 --> 00:35:55,715
Yeah, but no surgery today.
485
00:36:02,393 --> 00:36:05,920
- How're you doing?
- Okay.
486
00:36:05,997 --> 00:36:08,329
Great. I'm doing good too.
487
00:36:08,399 --> 00:36:11,732
I get to knock off an hour early today.
You know why?
488
00:36:11,802 --> 00:36:15,568
Because I kissed my boss's ass.
Do you ever do that?
489
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:18,302
I think she just said yes 'cause
she wants to reinforce that behavior.
490
00:36:18,376 --> 00:36:22,039
Wants me to kiss a lot of
other people's ass,
like she wants me to kiss yours.
491
00:36:22,113 --> 00:36:26,277
What would you want?
A doctor who holds your hand
while you die,
492
00:36:26,350 --> 00:36:28,784
or a doctor who ignores you
while you get better?
493
00:36:28,853 --> 00:36:32,789
I guess it would particularly suck
to have a doctor
who ignores you while you die.
494
00:36:34,125 --> 00:36:36,787
- I should go.
- You think it's gonna come out on its own?
495
00:36:41,799 --> 00:36:45,530
Are we talking
bigger than a breadbasket?
496
00:36:45,603 --> 00:36:48,470
Because, actually,
it will come out on its own.
497
00:36:48,539 --> 00:36:53,533
Which for small stuff is no problem.
It's wrapped up in a nice,
soft package, and plop.
498
00:36:53,611 --> 00:36:55,442
Big stuff, you're gonna rip something,
499
00:36:55,513 --> 00:36:58,209
which, speaking medically,
is when the fun stops.
How did you-
500
00:36:58,282 --> 00:37:02,309
You've been here half an hour,
you haven't sat down.
That tells me its location.
501
00:37:02,386 --> 00:37:05,549
You haven't told me what it is.
That tells me it's humiliating.
502
00:37:05,623 --> 00:37:09,491
You have a little birdie carved on
your arm. That tells me you have
a high tolerance for humiliation.
503
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,927
So I figure it's not hemorrhoids.
504
00:37:16,234 --> 00:37:18,566
I've been a doctor 20 years.
You're not gonna surprise me.
505
00:37:20,504 --> 00:37:23,837
[Exhales]
It's an MP3 player.
506
00:37:29,780 --> 00:37:31,941
Mm.
507
00:37:32,016 --> 00:37:37,852
Is it- Is it because of the size,
or the shape,
508
00:37:37,922 --> 00:37:40,652
or is it the pounding bass line?
509
00:37:40,725 --> 00:37:43,421
What are we gonna do?
510
00:37:46,664 --> 00:37:49,098
- I'm gonna wait.
- For what?
511
00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:53,430
Okay. It's 3:00. I'm off.
512
00:37:53,504 --> 00:37:56,837
Would you tell Dr. Cuddy
there's a patient in Exam Room Two
needs her attention?
513
00:37:56,907 --> 00:38:00,070
And the R.I.A.A. Wants her to check
for illegal downloads.
514
00:38:01,345 --> 00:38:03,836
Brandon's not ready for surgery.
Okay.
515
00:38:03,914 --> 00:38:08,078
Let's leave it a couple of weeks.
He should be feeling better by then.
Oh, wait. Which way does time go?
516
00:38:08,152 --> 00:38:11,485
He crashed during prep.
He's also experiencing
pain in his fingers.
517
00:38:11,555 --> 00:38:13,546
Think some bug
may have gotten in the clean room.
518
00:38:13,624 --> 00:38:18,118
I think we should double his dosage
of G-CSF to temporarily boost
his white blood cell count.
519
00:38:18,195 --> 00:38:22,131
Pain in his fingers. Right.
520
00:38:30,241 --> 00:38:32,709
Hi again.
He can't-
521
00:38:32,777 --> 00:38:35,769
Where's he going?
[Hissing]
522
00:38:36,881 --> 00:38:39,042
Hey. How you all doing?
523
00:38:39,116 --> 00:38:43,576
Interesting fact. Every seven years,
it's a whole new you.
Inspiring metaphor, huh?
524
00:38:43,654 --> 00:38:47,317
Dr. House,
this is a clean room.
Yeah. I read the sign.
525
00:38:47,391 --> 00:38:52,090
But cells of different organs
reproduce at different rates.
526
00:38:52,163 --> 00:38:55,655
- [Groans]
- So, you get a new kidney
every three years.
527
00:38:55,733 --> 00:38:58,065
Get a new stomach lining every week.
528
00:38:58,135 --> 00:39:02,367
This is why colchicine poisoning
causes all these symptoms,
but not all at once.
529
00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:04,931
But we went to the pharmacy.
We saw the pills.
530
00:39:05,009 --> 00:39:08,001
Colchicine does its damage
in a very specific order.
531
00:39:08,079 --> 00:39:12,345
First of all, there's the pain in
the abdomen, the rash, the fever.
Isn't that what you got first?
532
00:39:12,416 --> 00:39:16,876
Then the kidneys go,
which is exactly what happened to-
533
00:39:16,954 --> 00:39:18,854
- Brandon.
- Right.
534
00:39:18,923 --> 00:39:23,951
Then it screws up your bone marrow,
and then neuropathy.
535
00:39:24,028 --> 00:39:27,555
[Brandon Groans]
A painful tingling
in the fingers and toes.
536
00:39:27,631 --> 00:39:30,191
And what do you suppose
happens after that?
[Grunts]
537
00:39:34,205 --> 00:39:38,039
Hair loss. The bad news is...
538
00:39:38,109 --> 00:39:41,545
your special boy is doing drugs.
[Mom]
No, he's not.
539
00:39:41,612 --> 00:39:44,080
Ecstasy?
No.
540
00:39:44,148 --> 00:39:49,142
- Twice with Dan and Mike.
- You know what they cut that stuff with?
541
00:39:49,220 --> 00:39:53,714
Apparently, colchicine.
Unless you ingested the colchicine
through your contact lens solution,
542
00:39:53,791 --> 00:39:56,487
or skin cream
or some other drug you're lying about.
543
00:39:56,560 --> 00:40:01,429
I don't know how it happened.
I don't care how it happened.
It happened. Start, uh-
544
00:40:01,499 --> 00:40:04,991
- Brandon.
- Lovely name.
545
00:40:05,069 --> 00:40:09,233
Start Brandon on FAB fragments,
and get him some Tylenol
for the hair I pulled out.
546
00:40:09,306 --> 00:40:11,467
And get some air in here.
547
00:40:13,244 --> 00:40:15,906
Make a note.
I should never doubt myself.
548
00:40:15,980 --> 00:40:19,643
I think you'll remember.
You know, it wouldn't hurt you
to be wrong every now and then.
549
00:40:19,717 --> 00:40:22,083
What, you don't care about
these people?
550
00:40:22,153 --> 00:40:26,146
[Monitor Beeping]
551
00:40:26,223 --> 00:40:30,557
The colchicine interferes with
the ability of the heart muscle
to contract,
552
00:40:30,628 --> 00:40:33,461
pumping blood,
lowering your blood pressure.
553
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:40,294
The antibodies we're giving you
should neutralize the colchicine,
554
00:40:41,972 --> 00:40:44,770
allowing your heart
to beat at its normal rate.
555
00:40:45,776 --> 00:40:49,109
When will you know?
556
00:40:49,180 --> 00:40:51,114
We know now.
557
00:40:52,450 --> 00:40:55,112
Thank God.
[Laughs]
558
00:40:55,186 --> 00:40:57,120
Mmm.
559
00:41:01,292 --> 00:41:04,784
[Exhales, Laughs]
560
00:41:17,208 --> 00:41:21,144
Big weekend?
It's not for me.
I'm fully stocked.
561
00:41:21,212 --> 00:41:25,672
- Cuddy got you doing inventory?
- Nope. Trying to solve that kid's case.
562
00:41:25,749 --> 00:41:28,411
The gout medicine O.D.?
Yeah.
563
00:41:28,486 --> 00:41:31,887
The fact that I know it's a gout
medicine O.D. Would indicate
the case is already solved.
564
00:41:31,956 --> 00:41:33,890
Well, you'd be wrong.
565
00:41:33,958 --> 00:41:38,793
What about the fact that
the kid is now- I believe
the technical term is- "not sick"?
566
00:41:38,863 --> 00:41:41,195
You know how many forms
of colchicine there are on the market?
567
00:41:41,265 --> 00:41:43,733
- Stop it.
- Neither do I. But it's a lot.
568
00:41:43,801 --> 00:41:46,998
Pills, powders, liquids, I. V. Fluids.
569
00:41:47,071 --> 00:41:51,235
Somewhere at a party, in his coffee,
up his nose, in his ear, this kid had some.
570
00:41:51,308 --> 00:41:53,208
You're not happy with
your Ecstasy theory?
571
00:41:53,277 --> 00:41:55,609
- He said he used it twice.
- People lie.
572
00:41:55,679 --> 00:41:57,874
- If you're gonna lie, it's-
- You know what? I'm not interested.
573
00:41:57,948 --> 00:42:02,214
- Not curious?
- No. Because I'm well-adjusted.
574
00:42:02,286 --> 00:42:05,084
Right.
575
00:42:07,091 --> 00:42:10,390
Temperature's normal.
I want cousin Sharon there.
576
00:42:10,461 --> 00:42:12,691
If we invite Sharon,
we have to invite all the cousins.
577
00:42:12,763 --> 00:42:15,960
So what? My side of the family
doesn't need anything.
578
00:42:16,033 --> 00:42:20,367
[All Chuckle]
[Coughing]
579
00:42:20,437 --> 00:42:23,929
I don't suppose I could have
some of those cough pills, huh?
They're okay, right?
580
00:42:24,008 --> 00:42:26,476
- Yes. You're doing great.
- You should invite Dr. House.
581
00:42:26,544 --> 00:42:29,411
- [Brandon] Will he come?
- No. But he'll send a gift.
582
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:31,971
[Laughs]
I'll make sure it's a good one.
583
00:42:32,049 --> 00:42:35,712
There's a letter
on the back of these pills.
584
00:42:36,787 --> 00:42:39,051
Your old pills
didn't have a letter on them?
585
00:42:39,123 --> 00:42:42,422
No. Round and yellow,
but no letter.
586
00:42:49,433 --> 00:42:52,664
Well, these will help your cough.
587
00:42:56,340 --> 00:42:58,501
Hey, you wanna go get some-
No.
588
00:44:02,439 --> 00:44:03,701
That's some bad hat, Harry.